Double texting: the dating faux pas that can make you look clingy, desperate, or just plain annoying.
But hold up, is double texting really that bad?
The truth is, there’s a right and a wrong way to go about it.
In the world of modern dating, where communication is key, mastering the art of the double text can be the difference between a budding romance and a one-way ticket to being ghosted.
What Is Double Texting?
Picture this: you’ve just sent a witty, charming text to your crush, but minutes turn into hours, and still no response.
You’re tempted to follow up with another message, but wait! That’s double texting, and it’s a slippery slope.
Double texting is when you send a second message before receiving a reply to your first one.
It’s like poking someone repeatedly to get their attention, except you’re using your phone instead of your finger.
Related: 13 Texting Habits of a Guy Who Likes You
7 Things You Should Know About Double Texting
Before you go hitting that send button twice, there are a few things you should know about double texting. It’s not always a bad thing, but it’s important to understand the ins and outs of this texting tactic. Here are seven things you need to know:
1. Double texting can show you’re interested, but it can also come across as needy or desperate if done too often or too soon.
2. The timing of your double text matters. If you send a second message within a few minutes of the first, it’s less likely to be seen as a double text.
3. The content of your double text is crucial. If your second message adds value or context to the first, it’s more likely to be well-received.
4. Double texting can be a great way to show your sense of humor or keep a conversation going, but it’s important to read the room and make sure your recipient is receptive.
5. If you’re double texting because you’re feeling anxious or insecure, it’s probably best to take a step back and wait for a response.
6. Double texting can be more acceptable in certain contexts, such as when you’re making plans or when you have an established relationship with the person.
7. Ultimately, the key to successful double texting is to use it sparingly and strategically and always to be respectful of your recipient’s time and boundaries.
Should I Double Text in a New Relationship?
So, you’ve just started dating someone new, and you’re wondering if double texting is a good idea. The short answer? Not usually, but it depends. In a new relationship, you’re still getting to know each other’s communication styles and preferences.
Double texting too early on can come across as clingy or overeager, which might scare off your new flame. On the other hand, a well-timed double text can show you’re interested and keep the conversation flowing. The key is to use your judgment and read the situation carefully. If you’re still unsure, don’t do it.
9 Rules for Double Texting You Should Know
Should you double-text a girl or guy? It all seems so confusing and fraught. But with a few simple rules up your sleeve, you’ll be navigating the world of digital dating like a pro. Here are nine rules for double texting that you should keep in mind:
1. Give them time to respond.
Before you jump the gun and send that second text, take a deep breath and give your crush some time to respond. They might be busy, or they might not have seen your message yet. Sending a double text too soon can make you look impatient or desperate.
Not everyone is glued to their phone 24/7. Some people have jobs, hobbies, or other commitments that keep them from responding right away.
If you’ve waited a reasonable amount of time (a few hours or even a day, depending on the situation) and still haven’t heard back, then it might be okay to send a follow-up text.
2. Keep it casual.
When you do decide to send a double text, keep it casual and breezy. Don’t overthink it or try too hard to be clever. A simple “Hey, how’s your day going?” or “Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing” can be enough to get the conversation going again.
Avoid sending a novel or bombarding them with multiple messages in a row. Keep your double text short, sweet, and to the point. You don’t want to overwhelm them or come across as too intense.
3. Don’t be accusatory.
If your crush hasn’t responded to your first text, resist the urge to send a second text that’s accusatory or passive-aggressive. Saying something like “Why are you ignoring me?” or “I guess you’re too busy for me” is a surefire way to turn them off.
Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that there’s a good reason why they haven’t responded yet. Maybe they got caught up at work or had a family emergency.
Sending an accusatory double text will only make them feel guilty or annoyed, and that’s not the vibe you want to create in a new or established relationship.
4. Be mindful of the time of day.
When it comes to double texting, timing is everything. If you send your first text late at night or early in the morning, it’s probably not the best idea to follow up with a second text right away.
Your crush might be sleeping, and waking up to a barrage of messages from you could be a bit overwhelming.
Try to be mindful of their schedule and daily routine. If you know they’re usually busy at work during the day, wait until the evening to send your double text. Or, if you’re not sure about their schedule, stick to texting during normal waking hours and avoid sending messages too late or too early.
5. Don’t double-text after a date.
If you’ve just had a great date with someone and you’re feeling the urge to double-text them right away, hold off. It’s important to give them some space and let them process the date on their own terms. Sending a bunch of messages right after the date can come across as clingy or desperate.
Instead, wait a day or two before reaching out again. This gives them time to miss you and wonder what you’re up to. When you do send a text, keep it simple and positive. Say something like, “I had a great time with you the other night. Hope you’re having a good week so far!”
6. Use humor wisely.
Humor can be a great way to break the ice and keep things light when you’re double texting. A well-timed joke or funny meme can help ease any tension or awkwardness that might come with sending a second message.
However, it’s important to use humor wisely and sparingly. Not everyone has the same sense of humor, and what you think is hilarious might fall flat with your crush.
If you’re not sure if they’ll appreciate a particular joke or reference, err on the side of caution and skip it. Stick to more universal forms of humor that are less likely to offend or confuse.
7. Know when to take a hint.
If you’ve sent a double text and still haven’t heard back from your crush, it might be time to take a hint. If they’re not responding, it could be a sign that they’re not interested or just not in the mood to chat. No response is a response but not the one you were hoping for.
Don’t keep sending messages in the hopes of getting a response. This will only make you look desperate and pushy. Instead, give them some space and focus on other things.
If they’re interested, they’ll reach out when they’re ready. If not, it’s best to move on and find someone who appreciates your attention.
8. Use double texting sparingly.
While double texting can be a useful tool in certain situations, it’s important not to overdo it. Sending too many double texts can make you look clingy, needy, or even a bit obsessive.
Try to limit your double texting to once per conversation or once every few days, depending on the frequency of your communication. If you find yourself constantly feeling the urge to send a second message, take a step back and ask yourself why.
Are you feeling insecure or anxious? Are you not getting the level of attention you want? Address these underlying issues instead of relying on double texting as a band-aid solution.
9. Trust your instincts.
The best rule for double texting is to trust your instincts. If something feels off or uncomfortable, don’t do it. If you’re not sure whether a double text is appropriate, err on the side of caution and wait a bit longer before sending it.
Every situation is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. Use your best judgment and pay attention to how your crush responds to your messages.
If they seem receptive and engaged, keep the conversation going. If they seem distant or uninterested, take a step back and give them some space. With a little bit of patience and intuition, you’ll be a double texting pro in no time!
Situations When It’s Necessary to Double Text
While double texting should be used sparingly, there are some situations where it’s not only acceptable but necessary. If you find yourself in one of these scenarios, don’t be afraid to hit that send button twice. Here are a few times when double texting is totally justified:
- You’re making plans and need a quick response. If you’re trying to coordinate a date or meet-up and time is of the essence, a double text can help speed things along.
- You forgot to include important information in your first text. If you realize you left out a crucial detail or question in your initial message, it’s okay to send a follow-up text to clarify.
- You’re checking in on someone’s well-being. If you know your crush is going through a tough time or has been feeling under the weather, a double text to see how they’re doing shows that you care.
- You want to apologize for something. If you said or did something that might have offended or upset your crush, a double text apologizing and asking to talk things out can help smooth things over.
- You’re feeling bold and want to take a risk. Sometimes, shooting your shot with a flirty or playful double text can pay off big time. Just make sure you’re reading the situation correctly and not coming on too strong.
Common Questions About Double Texting
Double texting can be a confusing and intimidating concept, especially when you’re just starting to navigate the world of dating. To help clear things up, here are some of the most commonly asked questions about double texting.
Is Double Texting Bad?
Double texting isn’t inherently bad, but it can be if done excessively or in the wrong context. It’s all about reading the situation and using your best judgment. If you constantly bombard your crush with multiple messages before they have a chance to respond, that’s a problem. But if you send a thoughtful follow-up text after a reasonable amount of time has passed, that’s totally fine.
Is Double Texting a Turn-Off?
Double texting can definitely be a turn-off in certain situations. While it’s not always a dealbreaker, it can make you look clingy, desperate, or just plain annoying if done too often or in the wrong way. Here are a few times when double texting is more likely to be a turn-off than a turn-on:
• You’re sending multiple texts in a row without giving them a chance to respond.
• Your second text is overly needy or demanding (e.g., “Why aren’t you answering me?”).
• You’re double texting too early in the relationship before you’ve established a rapport.
• You’re sending double texts late at night or at odd hours.
Remember, less is often more when it comes to texting. If your double texts are turning your crush off, it might be time to rethink your strategy.
How Long Should I Wait Before Double Texting?
The ideal waiting time before sending a double text varies depending on the situation and your relationship with the person. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least a few hours, or even a day, before following up. If it’s urgent, a shorter timeframe might be acceptable.
How Long to Wait to Text After a First Date?
You had a great first date, but now you’re wondering how long you should wait before reaching out. While there’s no hard and fast rule, it’s generally best to wait at least a day or two before sending a text. This gives both of you time to process the date and avoids coming across as too eager or desperate.
Final Thoughts
Double texting is a delicate dance that requires equal parts patience, intuition, and boldness. By following these rules and trusting your instincts, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the art of the double text and winning over your crush’s heart.
